FADE IN:
EXT. FARM/CABINS - NIGHT
Rain falls heavily on an old farm. The night is cold and
damp.
The farm lies in the middle of Nowhere, Missouri. The land
consists of two barns, a small house and a few other small
shacks and cabins. The main barn has been renovated into a
small family owned Beer Brewery by the residents. A sign
outside reads BROWN FAMILY BREWERY - FAMILY OWNED.
An old rusty mail delivery truck pulls up outside.
On Screen Text: Rural Missouri 1978
INT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
The inside of the barn is dimly lit and old fashioned. It
has small makeshift conveyer belts lined up as several
workers fill bottles with freshly brewed beer. Behind that
lies many tanks used to brew hops and other ingredients.
There is a knock at the door. The elderly owner, Mr. Brown,
opens the door to discover a mysterious man in a trench-coat
and fisherman hat holding a cage.
LIGHTNING STRIKES!!!
MR. BROWN
Nice timing with the lightning.
MYSTERIOUS MAN
I know. You Mr. Brown?
MR. BROWN
Yes... Can I help you?
MYSTERIOUS MAN
Somebody order a monkey?
The man holds up the cage with his right hand, revealing a
rabid monkey jumping around the cage. The primate appears to
be VERY ANGRY.
MR. BROWN
No, this is a family owned brewery.
We're expecting a shipment of
labels, but not a monkey...
MYSTERIOUS MAN
Must have been a mix up somewhere.
Not my fault.
With his left hand, the mysterious man holds up a clipboard
with delivery papers clipped to it. However, more
importantly, the man's hand is not a hand, but A HOOK!!!
MYSTERIOUS MAN (CONT'D)
Sign here.
MR. BROWN
We didn't order a monkey.
MYSTERIOUS MAN
I know what you ordered last
summer!
(a beat)
And it was a monkey. A crazy wild
virus-infected monkey.
The mysterious man drops the cage to the ground.
MYSTERIOUS MAN (CONT'D)
Nevermind, I'll forge the rest.
(starts to leave)
Oh, and one last thing. NEVER...
Ever feed it after midnight!
The mysterious man exits the barn, closing the door behind
him.
EXT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
Mr. Brown looks for the mysterious man but he's gone. And so
is his car. Lightning strikes once again!
He returns inside.
INT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
He returns inside to discover everyone in the barn is DEAD!
Yes... DEAD! The workers lie motionless on the ground with
claw-marks over their bodies, as the conveyer belt begins to
push the beer out, causing it to crash to the floor below.
MR. BROWN
What the...?
Suddenly the monkey LEAPS OUT OF NOWHERE and CLINGS to Mr.
Browns' face!!!
MR. BROWN (CONT'D)
AAAHHH!!!
Mr. Brown panics and rushes back and forth throughout the
barn causing a loud commotion.
MRS. BROWN enters the barn drinking a beer. She's an older
woman with a sharp and aggressive attitude.
MRS. BROWN
You homo's having another gang
bang...
She soon realizes that this is no gang bang.
MRS. BROWN (CONT'D)
...Oh my!
The monkey stops clawing Mr. Brown for a second, grabs a beer
bottle and HURLS it at the face of Mrs. Brown. The bottle
SMASHES on impact, sending her falling into a tank of brew.
She SCREAMS as she falls face first into the beer, and to her
death! Meanwhile, the evil monkey continues to attack Mr.
Brown. Mr. Brown manages to throw the monkey off of his face
and to the ground. The monkey is badly injured, and near
death.
Despite being near death himself, he fears for the life of
his loving wife, he rushes over to see if she's still alive.
He leans over the edge, into the beer tank.
MRS. BROWN (CONT'D)
Honey?
SUDDENLY, he turns around to see the evil monkey FLYING
through the air and onto his face. The attack causes both
Mr. Brown and the evil monkey to fall into the beer tank.
The blood begins to mix into the beer. LIGHTNING STRIKES
outside the window once again!
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
EXT. JON'S HOUSE - MORNING
ESTABLISHING SHOT.
On Screen Text: 28 Years Later...
INT. JON'S BEDROOM - MORNING
The bedroom is lit only by a small amount of light coming in
from the windows. A man rolls over in bed and we see that it
is JON.
Jon is a big guy in his mid-twenties. He would be a good
looking guy if it weren't for the bags under his eyes from
many long nights. He rolls over in bed and in his hung-over
state notices the blonde hair of a YOUNG WOMAN next to him.
Confused, Jon slowly gets out of bed, puts on his clothes,
and walks out of the room.
He is still extremely groggy as he makes his way upstairs to
his kitchen. He opens the fridge and grabs a sports drink in
the back. He then goes back to his room to figure out
exactly what happened last night.
He stares at his bed and the woman in it. After drawing a
blank for a few minutes, he finally decides to talk to her.
JON
I don't really know who you are or
what happened last night, but I
think it would be best if you went
home.
No response.
JON (CONT'D)
(Louder)
I mean I'm sure it was fun and
all...but it would nice to have a
little time to...
No response.
JON (CONT'D)
I don't like, owe you money do I?
No response.
Jon walks over to the girl and pulls the covers back. He is
HORRIFIED to discover that his late night companion has no
body. It is just her head. Then suddenly, like a bolt of
lightening, all the events of the previous night race into
his mind. SCREAMS of AGONY and DESPAIR, INHUMAN MOANS, and
BLOOD...WOUNDS...DEATH.
FADE TO:
EXT. HOUSE / FRONT YARD - DAY
ON SCREEN TEXT: One Day Earlier...
Four friends, all in their twenties, pack up for what looks
to be a very large party. They are all attractive in their
own way and in fairly good shape.
TOM, the oldest of the group is packing party supplies into
his JEEP. KYLE, the strongest and also the youngest, returns
from the grocery store carrying cases of beer. CHRIS, the
tallest is helping Tom pack food. The fourth member of the
group is SAM, short stout and loud, remains to be seen. The
house they stand outside of is a small one story house that
the four of them have been renting for the past few months.
KYLE
Man, what happened last night?
TOM
Huh?
KYLE
You look tired. Late night?
TOM
Yeah, I stayed up late watching
Friday the 13th part 6.
KYLE
They made 6 of those?
TOM
Well, 6 was my favorite one. Then
I watched Nightmare on Elm Street
4.
KYLE
They made 4 of those?
TOM
More like 6 or 7. part 4 is still
my favorite. Oh, I also watched
Critters 3.
KYLE
They made 3 of those?
TOM
At least. Anyway, it sucked.
Although Leonardo Dicaprio was in
it, so that was kinda funny.
KYLE
He was in that? Man, it's funny
how everyone always starts out in a
horror movie.
TOM
Gotta start somewhere.
KYLE
I guess so.
Kyle walks over to CHRIS.
KYLE (CONT'D)
When are we gonna be ready to roll?
CHRIS
Well, it would be nice if SAM WAS
HELPING!!!
Sam shouts from offscreen, within the house.
SAM
HEY! HEY!
CHRIS
That's his way of saying... "I'm
busy playing World of Warcraft on
the computer."
KYLE
What else do we need?
TOM
For Jon to get here.
KYLE
Call Jon and get his alcoholic ass
over here so we can get going.
Just as Tom pulls out his cell phone, a car pulls up.
However, it isn't Jon, it's TAYLOR, Kyle's ex-girlfriend and
a conceited bitch.
TAYLOR
Packing up for the party, boys?
KYLE
Party?
Kyle obviously shuts the back of Tom's Jeep which is filled
with party supplies.
KYLE (CONT'D)
No party. You guys know about a
party?
TOM
(On the phone)
Nope.
CHRIS
Nope.
KYLE
See, no party here.
Sam comes outside with the lights and walks right over to the
Jeep, placing them in the back.
SAM
Okay, I turned the game off and
decided to help. Here are the
lights for the party. We got a lot
of food. How many people are
coming?
(See Taylor)
Oh... hi. I have turrets. I talk
a lot and I... Don't know what I'm
saying half the time. Don't listen
to me.
An Awkward silence as Sam tries to lie to Taylor.
SAM (CONT'D)
Screw this, I'm going back to being
a paladin.
Sam makes a goofy face like he knows he just screwed up. He
walks off as Kyle smacks him on the back of the head.
SAM (CONT'D)
(offscreen)
I deserve that!
TAYLOR
You know you don't have to be so
ignorant. Even though we aren't
going out anymore, you could at
least be decent to me.
KYLE
I don't even want to look at you,
let alone be decent toward you.
TAYLOR
You know what? I came over here to
try to establish a post-dating
relationship with you because my
therapist says its a healthy form
of recon...
Taylor has already forgotten what her therapist told her.
Kyle raises his eyebrow in a sarcastic "come-on, you-can-do
it" type of expression.
TAYLOR (CONT'D)
Reception... Something...
Kyle continues to mock her.
KYLE
...Something about recycling...
TAYLOR
Fuck you Kyle.
KYLE
Ahh yes. Fuck me. Those were the
good ole days, weren't they? Well,
aside from the days you were
fucking other guys.
TAYLOR
That's it. I'm leaving.
KYLE
(sarcastic)
Sorry, I guess I'm just old
fashioned that way. ONE PENIS
SHOULD BE ENOUGH!
Taylor gets into her car and speeds off. Sam is heard from
inside the house, yelling at his computer.
SAM
(offscreen)
DAMNIT! FUCKING PVP!
CHRIS
How many guys did she cheat on you
with?
KYLE
I'm pretty sure it was just one,
but I've always suspected another.
CHRIS
Oh yeah? I heard it was more like 5
or 6...
Tom chimes in from his phone conversation.
TOM
I heard 9.
CHRIS
Keep talking to her and you'll end
up contracting some kind of
disease!
KYLE
Ha, ha very funny.
CHRIS
You think she's going to show up
tonight?
KYLE
I know she'll show up tonight.
CHRIS
What are you gonna do about it?
KYLE
(a beat)
Absolutely nothing.
CHRIS
You still like her don't you?
Suddenly Sam is heard from inside.
SAM
(offscreen)
GOD I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME!
Kyle and Chris react. Tom hangs up his phone.
TOM
Jon's on his way, he'll be here any
second. But uhh... let's try not
to rag on him too much today.
Chris looks concerned. He raises his hand to talk.
CHRIS
I...I don't know how else to treat
Jon.
TOM
Well, he just finished telling me
why he's late. Apparently he
screwed something up at work and
might be getting fired. So cheer
him up before he gets depressed and
drinks himself into a coma again.
CHRIS
Yeah, remember when he stumbled
around downtown because he lost his
car. Not his wallet, not his
keys... HIS CAR!
TOM
Here he is now, pipe down.
Jon pulls up in his car and gets out immediately.
JON
I hate my job... Let's get drunk!
EXT. JEEP - DAY
The Jeep travels the hilly road out to a farm. It sits in
the middle of nowhere and a perfect location for a loud
party.
INT. JEEP - DAY
CHRIS
How long do you think it's gonna
take to set the farm up for the
party?
TOM
Not sure, probably a couple of
hours at least. Why?
CHRIS
Cause I wanna run to the liquor
store. I don't really feel like
drinking beer tonight.
JON
Yeah, I don't have anything to
drink and I HAVE TO get drunk
tonight.
SAM
Jon, you HAVE to get drunk every
night.
JON
(ignoring Sam)
Anybody got any cash I can bum, I'm
kinda strapped right now.
KYLE
I spent all mine on the food for
the party.
SAM
Yeah, and I blew mine on the beer
for me and Kyle.
Jon looks and Tom and Chris who just shake their heads no.
JON
Well what am I supposed to do?
CHRIS
Wait a minute, I got it. Not
drink?! I mean, think about it,
is it really necessary to get drunk
like you do. You act like you're
brain dead?
KYLE
He's got a point.
INT. SOMEONE'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Jon stumbles around a party talking to random girls who show
no interest in him whatsoever.
CHRIS (V.O.)
Remember that time at Mike's house
when you couldn't walk straight and
you hit on anything that moved.
Jon then hits on an overweight, homely girl, who before he
can finish his sentence, grabs him and makes out with him.
INT. KYLE'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Jon is at Kyle's house. He wakes up from an alcohol induced
nap, stands up and stumbles over to the wall, walks along the
wall knocking down a picture frame, walks around the room,
and eventually comes full circle to lay back down where he
just got up from.
KYLE (V.O.)
Or that time when we were getting
ready to go to that frat party and
you had drank 13 beers before we
had even left the house. We threw
shit at your face for 15 minutes
before you even made the slightest
move.
INT. JON'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Jon is sitting on his couch, holding a beer.
CHRIS (V.O.)
Or that time you drank alone at
home in your basement.
INT. JON'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Jon is laying on his couch, holding a beer.
CHRIS (V.O.)
Or that other time you drank alone
at home in your basement.
INT. JON'S HOUSE - NIGHT (FLASHBACK)
Jon is sitting on his couch, holding a beer.
KYLE (V.O.)
Or the next day when you... again
drank alone in your basement.
INT. JEEP - DAY (BACK TO SCENE)
JON
(laughing)
God I'm awesome? Thank you for
your concern, but seriously, what
am I supposed to do about tonight?
TOM
Not drink.
JON
You've got to be kidding. I can't
be the only sober one at this
party.
KYLE
Jon, did you not listen to a word
we just said? Anyway, I'm sure
you'll find some way to get drunk
and act retarded. You usually do.
TOM
Yeah, you'll get drunk, and you'll
pass out, and you'll fall in love
with every girl you see, and you'll
get over defensive if any other guy
talks to them after you, it will be
fine, don't worry.
JON
(jokingly)
I'll kill you all.
EXT. DIRT ROAD - DAY
The guys turn down a small dirt road that appears to be in
the middle of nowhere.
INT. JEEP - DAY
The place is barren. A little more secluded than they
imagined.
CHRIS
How do you expect anyone to find
this place?
KYLE
My buddy Mark works for that
shuttle bus company. He's picking
everybody up and driving them all
out here in one trip.
CHRIS
That's a good idea.
TOM
Unless people decide to leave.
KYLE
Our party is going to be too much
fun, they won't leave. Is this it?
TOM
Yup... This is the place.
EXT. FARM - DAY
The car slowly pulls up to the farm and parks. The five guys
hop out of the jeep and stretch, then proceed to setting up
for the party.
The farm has a few buildings, but the party will be in the
main shed.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - DAY
CHRIS
Hey Tom, hand me that screwdriver.
So, how did you find out about this
place?
TOM
It used to belong to my aunt and
uncle, then about 10 years ago they
just up and vanished without a
trace.
CHRIS
Wait, you mean like, Unsolved
Mysteries vanished?
TOM
Yeah, it was really weird. To this
day my family has no idea what
happened to them. No one does...
Not even Robert Stack, rest his
soul.
CHRIS
Who?
TOM
The Unsolved Mysteries guy...And
star of such classic Tom favorites
as Airplane! And TRANSFORMERS: the
movie.
CHRIS
Riiiiighhht...So how did your mom
and dad come to own it?
TOM
Well, after my aunt and uncle
disappeared, their lawyer who was
in charge of their will contacted
us and told us we had inherited
their farm.
CHRIS
Well that's pretty cool.
TOM
Yeah I guess, but it's remained
virtually useless to us. Until
tonight that is!
CHRIS
Damn straight!
Sam walks up.
SAM
Where are we gonna get power for
everything?
TOM
Believe it or not, but all of this
stuff is connected to the same
circuit breaker.
SAM
Where's that?
TOM
It's in an old scary basement
underneath one of the sheds.
Kyle joins the group.
KYLE
This place is in the middle of
nowhere.
TOM
Yep. So that means the party can
be as loud as we want it to be.
(scary voice)
Out here...no one can hear you
scream.
CHRIS
Or see me run around naked with my
junk hanging all out chasing the
ladies.
Tom just shakes his head.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Shit, I'm gonna need an extension
cord. Where's Jon?
KYLE
He's trying to call his "friend
with benefits" on his sorry-ass
cell phone.
Tom and Kyle go look for Jon.
EXT. FARM - DAY
Jon is on the other side of the farm yelling into his cell
phone. Tom and Kyle walk up to him.
JON
SAMANTHA.....YEAH....I'M OUT AT THE
FARM.....WHAT........YEAH...
TOM
Jon, that's 21st century technology
you got in your hand there, so you
might want to tone down your voice
a bit before that girl's ears start
to bleed.
KYLE
(nonchalantly)
Jon's loud.
Tom nods in agreement.
JON
YEAH, I'M GONNA HAVE TO LET YOU
GO.....ALRIGHT.....I'LL SEE YOU
HERE AT AROUND 8......OK BYE.
(a beat)
I don't know why my I get such bad
reception.
KYLE
'Cause your phone sucks.
TOM
Chris needs an extension cord.
JON
Where are they?
TOM
Most of my relatives' stuff is
packed away in that barn. There
should be some in there.
JON
Alright I'll be right back.
EXT. FARM - DAY
Jon enters the barn in search of the extension chords. He
decides to make another call, but his phone has POOR SIGNAL
strength. He searches through a few boxes but can't find the
chords.
He then walks to the barn behind the cabin. The door handle
doesn't open. Jon backs up and throws his SHOULDER into it,
knocking the door open.
INT. CABIN - DAY
Jon walks inside the cabin and again rummages through some
boxes before finding the extension cord.
Just as he's about to leave, he notices a refrigerator in the
corner. He pauses, and then take a peek inside. He opens
the door and discovers 28 FROSTY UNKNOWN BEERS.
Jon is ecstatic. Not only does he now have beer for the
party, he has FREE beer. He grabs one and quickly slams it
down. He grabs a few more and exits the cabin, heading back
to the shed. As Jon exits, the refrigerator power cable is
seen lying on the floor. It's unconnected to an outlet.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - DAY
Jon joins the rest of the guys in the shed holding the
extension cord and his new, dusty and old looking beers.
JON
Found it.
TOM
Where the hell did you get that
beer?
JON
FOUND IT!
CHRIS
(Laughing)
Eeewww... that must have a born on
date from like 1946.
SAM
(laughing)
They don't even have labels, the
glue is so old and worn out.
JON
Alright get this, okay, as I was
looking for the extension cord, I
decided to take a look inside the
fridge in the cabin and found 28 of
these babies.
KYLE
Dude, I can piss in a bottle and it
will probably taste better than
what you have in your hand right
now.
JON
Ha..ha..ha. Very funny. I don't
really care what you guys say
though cause I just found 28 free
beers and I am gonna get hammered
tonight!
KYLE
Feel free to drink your urine beer,
but whatever you do, keep it to
yourself.
JON
Fine, I will.
TOM
Alright, breaks over. Time to get
back to work.
MONTAGE
A) a close up of a beer bottle being opened.
B) Jon "supervising" and drinking as the other guys hang
lights.
C) Jon drinking as Kyle and Tom hammer decorations.
D) A trash can with a few empty beer bottles in it.
E) Jon helping set up the food, with a clearly seen dusty,
beer bottle in his back pocket.
F) Jon carrying a box and drinking at the same time.
G) The same trash can with a few more bottles in it.
H) Jon hammering and missing the nail repeatedly, then puts
down the hammer and picks up his beer and takes a drink.
I) Jon laying on the concrete floor asleep, beer in hand, as
the other guys work around him.
J) The same trash can now filled with beer bottles.
END OF MONTAGE
EXT. FARM - EVENING
All the lights and decorations have been setup or hung. The
four guys stand tall looking at their finished product.
CHRIS
(excited)
Now, That's a party pad!
Everyone looks at Chris blankly.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
And I just said...Party pad...
SAM
I think we did a good job.
Kyle's phone beeps. He takes it out and reads a text
message.
KYLE
And just in time.
(reading)
Mark just sent me a text message.
CHRIS
Why didn't he just call?
TOM
Phones don't really work too well
out here.
CHRIS
Oh,...convenient.
KYLE
They're on their way.
CHRIS
Let's do this.
The four guys walk towards the camera. The shot then CUTS TO
the four guys walking into the party about a half an hour
later as the party is in full swing.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - EVENING
The party is lively with people everywhere. Music plays,
people are dancing, drinking, and having a good time.
Tom is in the corner talking with a RANDOM GIRL.
TOM
Have you ever wondered what midgets
look like when they're born? I
personally think they look like
regular babies, but this one guy
told me....
Jon approaches, drunk and acting like a zombie already.
JON
Hey man, what's up?
Tom looks over to Jon and back to the girl, however she is no
longer there.
TOM
Well I was just talking with a
beautiful girl, but you scared her
away.
JON
(looking around)
Yeah, whatever. Have you seen
Samantha?
TOM
You mean that prostitute with bad
business sense that you were
talking to on the phone?
JON
She is not a prostitute!
TOM
Jon, dude, she had sex with 7 guys
at the New Year's party I went to
last year. Not 1...not 2... not
7... Oh wait, yeah it was 7.
JON
(looking around again)
That doesn't make her a prostitute.
TOM
Jon, they paid her cash money for
sex! You better double bag that
thing, then dip it in lead or
something.
JON
Lead?!
TOM
Yeah dude I don't know what she's
got up there, could be kryponite or
something.
JON
(pointing)
Oh dude there she is.
A slender female enters the front door.
JON (CONT'D)
Alright man gotta run.
Jon holds up his beer and takes one last swig of it. Jon
grabs another beer from his stash. He only has two left.
TOM
Hey man, by the way, how many of
those horrible beers have you
drank?
JON
This is numero 26 my friend!
TOM
You drank 26 of those skuzzy beers?
JON
Yep, although I don't even feel
that drunk. It sucks.
TOM
Don't worry, it'll hit you.
Tom walks off. He meets Chris over by the stereo. Chris is
talking to MARK.
MARK
Hey, you guys did a really good job
here.
TOM
What up Mark! Hey, thanks for
helping everyone get out here.
CHRIS
Yeah, is it cool to just borrow a
shuttle bus from your work?
MARK
Actually no...I gotta leave pretty
soon and have it back for the
night's inventory. But I'll be
back around dawn. I figure
everybody will be cool here til
then huh?
TOM
Yeah sure. There are enough places
to pass out if anyone can't make it
til then, but we should be good.
CHRIS
Yeah, and that way we don't have
anyone driving home drunk. So, it
will probably be safer.
MARK
Cool. I'll be here for another
hour or so, and then I gotta jet.
TOM
Cool man. Well, enjoy the party
and thanks again.
Mark walks back into the party. Jon rushes up to Tom and
Chris.
JON
Okay guys, real quick... If you
could be an animal, what would you
be?
CHRIS
A what?
TOM
Raptor.
JON
A raptor?
CHRIS
Raptor?
TOM
Yeah, a raptor, like Jurassic Park.
CHRIS
(a beat)
Probably a rabbit because they have
sex all the time.
JON
Okay thanks.
Jon runs off.
CHRIS
What was that about?
TOM
He does that.
A beat.
CHRIS
Dude, guess what?
Tom sits waiting for Chris to tell him what happened, while
Chris waits for Tom to guess.
TOM
(a beat)
I'm not gonna guess.
CHRIS
Okay, I'll tell you. A priest
blessed the water in the sink in
the cabin!
TOM
Huh?
CHRIS
Yeah, a bunch of people were over
there and this kid, who's training
to be a priest, was showing off and
blessing everything in sight.
TOM
Where is he now?
CHRIS
Banging some girl outside.
A young girl named MICHELLE walks up to Chris. She is your
average college coed. Not too pretty, but good enough
looking to briefly grab your attention.
MICHELLE
Hey Chris.
CHRIS
Hey...Michelle right?
MICHELLE
You remember me?
CHRIS
Hell yeah, I used to sit behind you
in music class. I had a big crush
on you in 6th grade.
MICHELLE
Really? I haven't hooked up with a
6th grader in weeks! I'll look for
you later on.
Michelle walks off, blowing Chris a kiss.
CHRIS
Oookay? Later.
Tom laughs. Suddenly, some drunken idiot stumbles towards
Tom and Chris, holding a cup of beer.
DRUNK IDIOT
Hey TOM... Smells like a NICE PARTY
dude. I'm wasted sooooo...sweaty.
Tom and Chris have no idea what he just said. The guy then
burps up some vomit into his cup of beer.
DRUNK IDIOT (CONT'D)
Oh man, I just puked in my beer.
Here dude, throw this away for me.
I gotta go get a new one.
The drunken idiot hands Tom the beer and for some reason, Tom
holds on to it. The idiot stumbles off shouting...
DRUNK IDIOT (CONT'D)
Hell Yeah the FUCK!
CHRIS
You're actually holding that?
TOM
I think so.
CHRIS
Drunken Idiots...For three...
TOM
Swish!
Jon walks by holding a beer.
JON
Number 27!
Jon keeps on walking. Chris and Tom look at each other and
laugh.
Tom then sees PERCY, someone he definitely doesn't like.
Percy is a film school nerd. He wears glasses and has a bowl
cut. He is quite possibly one of the most arrogant, annoying
nerds you will ever meet.
TOM
Aww, man. Who the fuck invited
Percy?
CHRIS
Who?
TOM
He went to film school with me. He
thinks he knows everything about
horror movies and he always tries
to make it a competition between me
and him.
CHRIS
(long pause)
What a faggot.
PERCY
Hey there, Tom.
TOM
Percy.
PERCY
You see my senior overview film?
TOM
I'm afraid I didn't.
PERCY
It's great. It's a horror movie,
obviously... But it's kinda like
SAW meets DAWN OF THE DEAD meets
THE ENGLISH PATIENT.
Tom and Chris listen unenthusiastically.
PERCY (CONT'D)
Anyway, how's post-college life
working out for you? Any jobs in
the business yet?
TOM
No, Percy.
PERCY
Well, after I finish my movie,
Hollywood will be knocking down my
door.
TOM
Well, Congratulations. Here, have
a beer on me.
Tom hands Percy the beer with vomit in it and walks off.
Percy nods his head and raises the cup to himself.
He then takes a big gulp out of it, swishes it around in his
mouth, swallows it and smiles at the taste.
MATT and BUBBA walk into the party.
CHRIS
(signaling them)
Matt... Bubba!!!
MATT
What's up man. Nice party.
CHRIS
Did you guys come with the shuttle
bus?
BUBBA
No, we drove ourselves. I hate
shuttles.
Bubba tosses his keys onto the table next to the chips and
other snacks. His key-chain reads "fat guys do it better".
TOM
(sarcastic)
Oh you brought food...
BUBBA
Just being smart. I don't drink
and drive.
CHRIS
Oh man, my bad. Tom this is Matt
and Bubba. Guys, this is Tom.
TOM
Nice to meet you guys. Beer is in
the fridge, kegs are over there.
Enjoy!
MATT
Thanks man. We're gonna go make
the rounds, talk to some hotties.
We'll catch up later, alright.
Matt and Bubba walk off.
TOM
Bubba?
Chris shrugs his shoulders. Sam walks up.
Jon walks by holding 2 beers. As he finishes one, he tosses
it to the ground, and holds up the other.
JON
Last but NOT LEAST. MY 28TH BEER
OF THE NIGHT!!!
SAM
Congratulations Jon! We're like 2
hours into the party and you're
completely wasted!
JON
I'm not wasted. I'm hungry though.
You think pizza delivers out here?
Jon pulls out his cell phone and walks off. Meanwhile,
KELLY, a smoking hot BLONDE approaches the three guys.
KELLY
Hey, this is your place right?
TOM
Umm.. Yeah. Kinda.
KELLY
You guys have lots beer, but my
friends and I don't drink beer.
Would you guys go pick us up some
apple rum martini coolers, oh and
some raspberry vodka mocha twists?
TOM
Well, it's kinda out of the way...
Kelly rubs her fingers across Tom's chest. She takes out a
twenty and sticks it in his shirt.
KELLY
My friends and I would be very
appreciative, we're really wanting
to get drunk to try and stifle our
horniness
Tom and Chris turn to 3 of Kelly's hot friends. Chris
decides to speak for Tom.
CHRIS
WE'LL DO IT!
KELLY
(seductively)
Thanks. Oh and pick up some whip
cream while you're at it.
SAM
Whip-its right!?!?!?
The girls just look at Sam confused, and Kelly walks rejoins
her girlfriends at the party. Tom, Sam and Chris just stare
at her ass.
SAM (CONT'D)
Wow. Did that just happen?
CHRIS
The sudden lack of open space in my
underwear says yes.
SAM
Ew. Okay, let's find Kyle and go
to the store.
TOM
Yeah, where is he?
CHRIS
Oh crap.
TOM
Oh crap what?
CHRIS
I know where Kyle is.
TOM
Where?
CHRIS
Well, If you were still in love
with a girl and she just showed up
at a party you were at, where would
you be?
SAM
You are fucking kidding me right?
CHRIS
Not at all. Look.
Chris points over to a corner of the shed where Kyle is
talking with Taylor, and she is flirting with him heavily.
She leans in and starts to kiss him.
SAM
FUCK!
TOM
We've got to break that up!
Sam, Tom and Chris walk over to the two of them making out
and stand there for a second staring at them not saying
anything. Chris starts to fake cough in order to break them
up. They don't respond. Tom then fakes a cough. They don't
respond
SAM
Fuck that.
Sam picks up an empty beer can and throws it at Kyle, who
finally realizes what's going on. He excuses himself and
walks over to his friends. Annoyed, she walks off and enters
the party.
CHRIS
What are you doing?
KYLE
What?
CHRIS
All the...uhh..ooh..unh...
Chris starts to make sexual gestures and gropes Kyle.
KYLE
(laughing)
Nothing, dude I can't help it.
She's hot and I really wanna fuck
her. You guys should understand.
SAM
Dude, one, she cheated on you, two,
she's diseased, and three, she lied
to the cops and tried to get a
restraining order against you.
KYLE
I know, but I just can't help it.
TOM
Man, there's plenty of respectable
girls here. You don't need to be
talking to Taylor.
KYLE
(trailing off)
Yeah I guess....
CHRIS
You know were right. Tell you what
dude, we have to go and get some Fu
Fu Drinks for these hot ass
biznatches. So come with us to pick
this shit up, and man... when we
get back...it's on like Donkey
Kong.
KYLE
Really? Alright... Let's go.
The boys exit the main party shed.
Meanwhile, Jon is sitting down, about to finish the last sip
of his beer. He holds up the beer, examining the last
contents of it, and then drinks the final drop.
The camera focuses on JON who begins to feel the effects of
the 28 beers. He begins sweating profusely as he can barely
keep his eyes open. He fights to stay awake. The beer is
causing a chain reaction within him. One that he will not
soon get over.
He falls asleep.
Suddenly a girl's voice wakes him up.
GIRL
Are you alright?
Jon quickly moves in and plants a big disgusting slobbery
kiss on the poor unsuspecting girl. She fights him off of
her and pushes him back towards the other side of the couch.
GIRL (CONT'D)
Ewww GROSS!
She looks to her friend.
GIRL (CONT'D)
(disgusted)
He just put his tongue in my mouth.
Let me have that.
The girl grabs her friends beer and takes a big gulp out of
it.
GIRL (CONT'D)
Uugh.. That's a little better, but
I can still taste it.
The girl gives the beer back to her friend who then takes a
sip out of it.
THIS BEGINS A MASSIVE DOMINO EFFECT THAT CIRCULATES A VIRUS
THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE PARTY. (Ending with a keg stand.)
Afterwards... Jon, looks to the door, where he sees SAMANTHA.
She motions for him to follow her. He stands up and does so.
EXT. MAIN PARTY SHED - NIGHT
Jon follows Samantha outside. She lures him around back,
where they can be alone.
SAMANTHA
It's so crowded in there, I wanted
to talk to you alone.
JON
...SA-MAN-THA...
SAMANTHA
(giggling)
That's right... It's me baby. And
there's something I've been wanting
to tell you.
She leans in and begins kissing him.
After a few moments, Jon moves down to her neck, kisses it,
and then pulls away. Jon and Samantha look each other in the
eyes, even though Jon is so drunk one of his eyes is half
closed. Jon slowly moves in again to kiss her, but instead of
kissing her lips, he bites her bottom lip...HARD.
SAMANTHA (CONT'D)
Oww...Jon, careful.
JON
Unnnnhhhhhhhh...
SAMANTHA
Jon, you can't bite that hard. Am I
bleeding?
JON
Unnnnhhhhhhhh...
Blood is running out of Samantha's mouth and down her chin.
SAMANTHA
I better not get any blood on my
clothes.
The two of them then go back to making out. Jon begins to
kiss her, then attacks and knocks her to the ground.
SAMANTHA (CONT'D)
Ahhhhhhh.........
INT. JEEP - NIGHT
Tom, Sam, Kyle, and Chris are driving back from the nearest
grocery store after picking up some girly drinks for the
party. Kyle is hanging up his phone.
KYLE
I just talked to Clayton, he just
got off of work and is going to
come by.
CHRIS
Cool, I haven't seen that guy since
Space Camp.
KYLE
Huh?
TOM
Have you guys ever wanted to run an
obstacle course?
CHRIS
(laughing)
Where the hell did that come from?
TOM
I don't know I was just thinking
how much fun that would be.
KYLE
I've always wanted to do one, but
only if it had one of those zip
lines, those are bad ass.
The Jeep pulls into the parking area of the farm and the four
guys hop out, each carrying some "girly" drinks. They head
towards the main shed.
EXT. JEEP - CONTINUOUS
CHRIS
Kyle, these girls are so hot.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - NIGHT
The guys walk into the shed to find it EMPTY. The music is
still playing and all the food is still on the table.
CHRIS
Did everyone leave already?
SAM
I guess so, all the cars are gone.
CHRIS
They came in a shuttle dumbass.
SAM
Well that would explain why all the
cars are gone now wouldn't it. I'm
a moron apparently.
(a beat)
Look a tree.
Sam sarcastically begins petting a tree.
TOM
This is weird... 50 people just
don't disappear.
CHRIS
Maybe they went to the barn or
something. Lets go check it out.
EXT. FARM - NIGHT
The four guys make there way to the barn. On the way they
notice that a lot of things are messed up, windows are
broken, a barrel has fire in it, and debris pretty much lay
everywhere.
KYLE
You guys ever see Escape From New
York? This farm kinda reminds me of
that movie, especially that fire
barrel.
CHRIS
Oh man I love that movie. Then in
Escape From L.A. he rides that
giant tidal wave and...
KYLE
Dude, Escape From L.A. sucked worse
than Crossroads and Josie and the
Pussycats combined.
CHRIS
Oh...
TOM
Chris owns both of those movies.
SAM
Hi guys. Reality here. Just
wondering if you could shut up
about movies for once and realize
... THAT EVERYONE IS GONE!!!
INT. HAY LOFT - NIGHT
The four guys wander into the hay loft area and start looking
around for any signs of life. The four of them are walking
single file through the hay loft. Sam is bringing up the
rear.
Someone makes a moaning sound.
SOMEONE
Uuughhh...
KYLE
Damn Sam, you're always fucking
hungry.
SAM
Huh? Why do you say that?
KYLE
Because I can hear your stomach
growling from here.
SAM
My stomach isn't growling.
SOMEONE
Uuuuuggghhhh...
The guys stop.
KYLE
There it is again.
SAM
That wasn't me.
(a beat)
I am hungry though.
The guys begin to search again, but Sam hears something
rustling in the back of the barn. He wanders off from the
group to investigate.
Sam wanders down through a gap in the hay bales and sees some
loose hay on the ground with blood on it. As he is bending
down to touch it, he is suddenly mauled by a pale looking
female who is trying her best to bite him. IT'S SAMANTHA!
Sam is trying to push her off and is screaming for help when
the other three guys come running back.
SAM (CONT'D)
Guys get her off me!
TOM
Look, she is a whore!
SAM
No, she's attacking me!
TOM
What should we do?
SAM
I don't know, anything!
CHRIS
("Hood" accent)
Shit, I'll hit the bitch.
As Sam is struggling to push the girl off of him, he lifts
her up just enough for Chris to kick her square in the face
and break her neck.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
(pumping his fist)
Sucka, I told you Sucka.
TOM
Oh Shit! Was that Samantha?
KYLE
Dude, you killed her. Jon's gonna
be pissed!
CHRIS
I didn't mean to, I only wanted to
help Sam.
KYLE
Fuck, dude, we are going to jail.
TOM
No way man, she was already dead.
KYLE
That's a good alibi, we'll say we
were walking and we found her here
with her neck broken and we...
TOM
No dude. She was already dead.
KYLE
What are you talking about?
TOM
Look here, her skin is already pale
and in some spots it's starting to
rot away, just like Dawn of the
Dead.
SAM
(struggling under the
body)
Ummm, guys. Could you help me here.
CHRIS
Did you like that movie?
TOM
Which version, the new one?
CHRIS
Yeah, the one with Michelle
Pfeiffer.
TOM
You mean Mekhi Phifer?
CHRIS
Yeah, what did I say?
TOM
Michelle Pfeiffer.
Chris and Tom laugh.
SAM
(SCREAMING)
GET THIS THING THE FUCK OFF ME!!!!!
TOM
Whoa, Sorry dude.
Kyle helps get the body off of Sam.
KYLE
So Tom, what are you saying? That
Chris just kicked a zombie in the
face.
TOM
Yeah I guess I am.
CHRIS
I just killed a zombie? Oh yeah,
check me out.
Chris flexes arms, Kyle slaps him in the chest.
KYLE
This is nuts. Zombies don't exist.
TOM
Well then, what are we dealing
with?
KYLE
I don't know, but I do know that we
should find Jon and get the hell
out of here before anything else
bad happens.
Suddenly, another loud MOANING sound is heard that startles
the guys.
SAM
(a beat)
OH, sorry... That was me.
Chris lightly slaps Sam in the back of the head.
SAM (CONT'D)
What? ...I'm hungry.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - NIGHT
The four guys make there way back to the scene of the party.
They enter and see JON over by the food table, smelling
things, then throwing them aside.
KYLE
Jon, good you're alright. We've
got to get out of here.
Jon looks over at them, then turns back to his food.
CHRIS
Dude, you can eat later. We have to
leave now.
Jon ignores them.
KYLE
God, he is so fucking hammered.
TOM
Jon, we'll stop at White Castle on
the way home.
Jon lifts his ear to them, interest piqued.
TOM (CONT'D)
And you can get whatever you want,
our treat.
JON
(quietly)
Nooooo onions.....
TOM
Okay, that's fine. Let's just go.
They turn and start to walk away.
JON
(yelling)
NOOOOOO Onions.....
TOM
Jesus, I said it was okay. Now
let's go
SAM
Can I get onions?
TOM
Sam! You're not helping.
They turn and exit the shed.
EXT. FARM - NIGHT
The five of them make there way to the Jeep only to find that
all the air has been let out of the tires.
SAM
Guys... This is some serious Horror
movie shit. Tom, you're the horror
movie expert?
TOM
Yeah, but I haven't seen this one.
KYLE
Okay, somebody call for help.
All the guys pull out there phones, including Jon who appears
to just be duplicating whatever the other guys do. All dial
simultaneously. Jon attempts to eat his cell phone.
CHRIS
No signal.
SAM
Me either.
KYLE
Same here.
TOM
Hold on.
Tom wanders over to where Jon had previously used his cell
phone, and it starts to ring.
OPERATOR
I'm sorry if you'd like to make a
call please....
TOM
FUCK!
Tom throws his phone.
CHRIS
What the hell are we supposed to do
now?
SAM
We have to think of something.
JON
Uuuuuggghhhhh...
TOM
Oh, I got it. There's a hard line
in the cabin.
INT. CABIN - NIGHT
The five guys enter the cabin and Tom immediately runs to the
phone and Jon stumbles toward the fridge, he is constantly
moaning. Tom grabs the phone and makes a call.
OPERATOR
911, what is your emergency?
Jon grabs the phone.
JON
UUUUUUGHHHHH...
TOM
Will someone please shut Master P
the fuck up.
Kyle and Chris grab Jon and pull him away from Tom.
OPERATOR
Please state your emergency.
TOM
We're being attacked!
OPERATOR
Sir, who is attacking you?
TOM
The living dead ma'am.
Silence on the other end of the phone.
TOM (CONT'D)
I think she hung up on me.
Jon is chewing on the phone cord.
CHRIS
Jon's eating the phone cord!
SAM
Jon, you moron. What are you doing?
That's a phone cord.
JON
Unnhhhhhhhh...
CHRIS
There's no use in yelling at him.
It won't put the phone cord back
together.
Suddenly, a sound comes from the closet.
TOM
Whoa... Did you hear that?
CHRIS
What?
TOM
Hold on...
Tom slowly walks to the closet. He turns back at the guys
one last time before opening the door to the closet. He
quickly opens it up to reveal... nothing. Tom takes a sigh
of relief, as do the guys. He closes the door to reveal a
HORRIFIC ZOMBIE standing behind the door. It lunges at Tom,
knocking him to the ground attempting to bite him.
TOM (CONT'D)
(screaming)
HELP!
SAM
Oh shit!
Kyle runs over and kicks the zombie, but it has no affect.
Chris and Sam help pull the zombie off of Tom.
Kyle pushes the zombie down to the ground. They help Tom up.
KYLE
Lets get out of here!
EXT. CABIN - NIGHT
The boys run out of the door. They head for the wooded path
that they drove in on.
SAM
Where are we running to?
CHRIS
To the main road.
SAM
That's like 4 miles from here!
CHRIS
Well, we can't just stay here.
SUDDENLY, MATT AND BUBBA LEAP OUT FROM BEHIND A WALL, scaring
the shit out of the guys. Everyone screams, eventually
calming themselves once they realize who it is.
KYLE
FUCK! You scared the shit out of
me!
CHRIS
Matt, what is going on? What
happened?
MATT
I don't know. There was all this
screaming and some chick had blood
all over her. She started biting
everyone...
BUBBA
And what's worse, I lost the keys
to my car.
The guys are standing outside the shed, next to a window
looking to inside of the room they were just in. SUDDENLY the
ZOMBIE that attacked them in the house LEAPS UP and POUNDS on
the window glass, again, scaring the shit out of the guys.
The guys scream and run off towards the road.
TOM
LOOK!
The guys look to see a cars headlights in the distance, just
where the dirt road curves into the woods.
KYLE
Lets go!
The guys run to the car. Kyle recognizes the car from a
distance.
KYLE (CONT'D)
That's Clayton's car!
EXT. DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
They approach the car, which lies suspiciously motionless.
CHRIS
Whoa, I don't like this... Why is
he just sitting there?
KYLE
Maybe he's lost...
CHRIS
No, something's not right.
Kyle walks around to the front of the car. Thinking about
what Chris said, he now moves a little reluctantly. He bends
down to the drivers seat window.
The slumped over figure of Clayton can be seen inside. He
appears to be sleeping. Kyle props open the door, allowing
the light inside the car to come on.
KYLE
Clayton?
The CAMERA pans down to reveal that he is still in his BEST
BUY uniform, only that his name-tag has been scratched up,
and it now reads ZOMBIE over the name Clayton. The zombie
looks up and snarls
KYLE (CONT'D)
What the...?
Kyle rears back and punches the zombie in the face,
temporarily knocking him out.
SUDDENLY in the distance, the zombie who attacked them in the
house breaks through the window and begins to run loose
around the farm. He does not see the guys, and runs in the
opposite direction.
SAM
Oh shit! Guys, we gotta do
something fast, before that THING
finds us or THAT thing wakes up.
BUBBA
This is nuts. I gotta get out of
here!!!
TOM
Calm down. We need to think, not
panic.
BUBBA
Oh really? Well I THINK I'm going
to get in this drunk mother-fuckers
car, and drive off.
Bubba runs up to the car and puts his hand on the steering
wheel.
BUBBA (CONT'D)
Who's coming with me?
SUDDENLY THE ZOMBIE-FIED BODY OF CLAYTON WAKES UP AND BITES
BUBBA ON THE ARM. Blood GUSHES everywhere. Bubba screams in
pain.
BUBBA (CONT'D)
AAAAAAHHHH FUCK ME!
He punches Clayton in the face, knocking him out again. The
rest of the guys back up, freaked out.
BUBBA (CONT'D)
THAT'S IT. FUCK YOU GUYS I'M
MAKING A RUN FOR IT!!!
TOM
WAIT! You can't just run off into
the woods during a moment like
this...
BUBBA
Yeah, well, I'll take my chances.
MATT
Bubba wait!
Bubba runs off into the woods, disappearing into the trees
and shrubbery. Within a few moments the forest seems to come
to life as sounds of terror are heard from that direction.
Trees shake, and we hear Bubba scream for his life. The
scream ends, and the group is left with a haunting silence.
MATT (CONT'D)
He's gone...
TOM
His name was Bubba... What did you
expect?
Matt slowly walks forward, unknowingly placing himself in
front of Clayton's car.
KYLE
Okay, well Tom's right. We can't
run off into the woods, and I'm not
touching that car... So let's go
back to the shed and look for a
weapon or something.
Kyle, Sam, Chris, Jon, and Tom begin to walk down to the farm
area. Matt remains shocked, standing in front of the car.
SAM
Matt c'mon man...
INT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
From the POV of INSIDE THE CAR / DRIVERS SEAT the zombie
version of Clayton awakens and starts the car, with Matt
still standing in front of the car, shocked.
EXT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
Matt snaps out of his daze, turning around, blinded by the
headlights. He isn't sure what's happening.
INT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
Suddenly, the Zombie puts the car in gear and begins driving
towards Matt.
EXT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
Matt, realizing what is happening, begins to run down the
dirt road, away from the oncoming car. The Zombie-driven car
begins to gain speed, gaining on Matt.
EXT. DIRT ROAD - NIGHT
Kyle, Sam, Chris and Tom turn around to see the commotion.
SAM
Holy shit! MATT!!!
The guys run back to where the car was. They look on,
knowing that they can't do anything to help him.
INT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
With blood dripping from his mouth, the Zombie continues to
chase Matt.
EXT. CLAYTON'S CAR - NIGHT
Matt runs for his life, but cannot outrun the car. He TRIPS
and falls to the hard ground below. At that moment, the
Zombie driven car runs matt over, killing him.
The car continues to drive off.
EXT. DIRT ROAD - CONTINUOUS
SAM
MATT!
KYLE
We gotta go check to see if he's
alive.
Suddenly a couple of zombies rush out of the woods and begin
feasting on Matt's lifeless body.
CHRIS
Oh shit... We're all going to die
aren't we?
SAM
Tom what do we do?
TOM
Why are you asking me, ask Kyle.
SAM
Cause you've seen every horror
movie ever made!
TOM
Let's uughh... Get back to the
shed.
They turn around only to run into PERCY who has blood stains
on his shirt.
TOM (CONT'D)
Fuck!... Percy what are you doing?
PERCY
Zombies are fucking everywhere!!!
REAL LIVE ZOMBIES... Well,
technically they're not LIVE, err..
LIVING... But they're REAL!!! I
have BLOOD on my shirt, TOM...
BLOOD!!!
TOM
I see, well stick with us okay,
don't go off on your own.
PERCY
You guys are following Tom around?
I have like 10 times the horror
movie knowledge than he does!!!
TOM
This isn't a fucking contest Percy,
nobody is in charge, we're all just
trying to not get killed.
PERCY
Well I'm not following you idiots
around asking to be eaten alive.
I'm on my own.
He runs off into the night.
PERCY (CONT'D)
I'll outlive you all!!!
CHRIS
(a beat)
I kinda hope he gets killed.
The guys run down the hill and enter one of the cabins.
INT. CABIN - NIGHT
KYLE
We need something to defend
ourselves with.
SAM
What are we gonna get to fight
zombies?
TOM
Well what works for fighting
zombies?
SAM
Shotguns.
KYLE
Baseball bats.
CHRIS
A ladle.
Chris points to a ladle.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
A fishing pole.
Chris points to a fishing pole.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
An umbrella.
Chris points to an umbrella.
TOM
Stop pointing at things in the
room!
CHRIS
No, wait, I've got a real one.
TOM
What?
CHRIS
A bow and arrow
TOM
I don't think I could fire that
thing if I tried.
SAM
Dude, it's easy. Give me that
thing.
Sam grabs the bow and arrow and wraps it around his chest.
CHRIS
What about holy water?
TOM
That's vampires.
CHRIS
No dude, they're the undead. The
spawn of Satan. Only the water of
God can stop them.
TOM
Easy there Passion of the Chris...
They stop and look at Tom's corny joke.
TOM (CONT'D)
Sorry.
SAM
Where are we gonna get holy water?
CHRIS
Over there. That kid that was
training to be a priest blessed the
water in the sink earlier.
Chris points at the sink where Jon is slurping up the last of
the holy water.
SAM
Great! The one time a priest shows
up at a party and blesses water in
the sink, Jon drinks it all.
TOM
On to more realistic matters...
Anyone got any ideas about the
phone?
KYLE
Well, when we were moving stuff
earlier, I told Jon to move a bunch
of Tom's aunt and uncles old stuff
there might have been a phone cord
in there. Jon where did you put
those boxes I told you to move?
JON
Unhhhhhhhhh.
KYLE
Jon!
JON
Unhhhhhhhhh.
KYLE
He's too drunk to respond. Where
did you guys see Jon?
TOM
Well, I saw him by the barn. Most
of their stuff is in the boxes, I
know they had at least 3 phones...
There has to be a cord somewhere in
those boxes.
CHRIS
I mostly saw him around the party,
oh and by the storage sheds.
KYLE
Alright, well, it looks like we're
gonna have to split up. Me, Sam,
and Jon are gonna go back to the
party and to the storage sheds to
check those out. You guys go and
check out the barn. We'll meet back
here in an hour.
CHRIS
Hey, how come you get three people
in your group and we only get two?
KYLE
We have Jon!
CHRIS
(a beat)
Oh yeah.
Tom and Chris walk off, as Kyle, Sam and Jon head off in the
other direction.
As the group disperses into two different directions, our POV
remains where it is for a moment. SUDDENLY, we see a number
of zombies begin to creep out from behind trees and other
objects and slowly walk in the directions that the guys split
up into.
INT. BARN - NIGHT
Tom and Chris enter the barn.
CHRIS
Man it's dark.
(a beat)
Shouldn't we have a flashlight?
TOM
(sarcastically)
Yeah, go run to Radio Shack and get
one.
CHRIS
(in a homosexual voice)
You're being silly aren't you.
SILLY BILLY!!!
Tom and Chris begin to look around the barn for anything of
use.
TOM
There's some boxes over there...
Check those. I'll check this side.
Chris moves off-screen left while Tom moves off-screen right.
We then take the POV of someone or SOMETHING watching them
from a hidden angle.
Chris begins to look through some boxes. He tosses a bunch
of junk out of the way.
CHRIS
Sooo... Do you think that was
really a Zombie?
TOM
Looked like one.
Chris just shakes his head is despair. He finds some
newspaper clippings inside a box. Tom looks over.
TOM (CONT'D)
Find anything?
CHRIS
Kinda... I found some newspaper
clippings that seem to explain a
series of murders that took place
here years ago, something else
about an ancient burial ground and
some contaminated beer... OH,
THERE'S A SALE AT PENNY'S!!!
TOM
No shit?
CHRIS
Yeah, that and a bunch of other
coupons... Oh, and an old VHS copy
of AIRPLANE!
TOM
SWEET! Best box ever. See if you
can find anything else worth
keeping.
He continues to search through the boxes, eventually finding
a flashlight.
CHRIS
Oooh oohh FLASHLIGHT!
Tom walks over to Chris.
TOM
Hot Damn!
They check the batteries and turn it on.
CHRIS
It works!
TOM
Great, see what else you can find,
I'm gonna look over here.
Tom walks away. Chris needs two hands to look through the
box, so he places the flashlight on the ground.
From there, we assume a LOW ANGLE POV right next to the
flashlight, now being placed on the ground. The light
shining into the back of the barn SUDDENLY reveals the legs
of someone standing in the corner. The legs quickly move
offscreen, behind some boxes.
We cut back to Chris, who continues to look through the
boxes, unaware of who or WHAT is in the barn with them.
Tom is searching over by an old tool bench that has mostly
been cleared out. He kneels down to find a cord.
TOM (CONT'D)
This cord is plugged into
something.
Tom follows the cord to reveal a lamp without a top. Plugged
in and still in working condition.
TOM (CONT'D)
You gotta be kidding me.
He flips the light.
TOM (CONT'D)
Let there be light ... Biatches.
Chris looks over.
CHRIS
EXCELLENT!
Tom and Chris both do the Bill & Ted air guitar move,
complete with sound affects.
Chris returns to his boxes. Tom turns and kneels down to see
what else he can find.
Suddenly, someone walks in front of the light of the lamp,
causing the illumination of the room to flicker from the
shadow. Tom realizes this and stands up and looks behind
him... but sees nothing.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - NIGHT
Sam, Kyle and Jon enter. The place is a mess. Someone, or
someTHING has ravaged the room.
As Kyle is closing the door, he notices a Zombie lurking
towards the shed.
KYLE
Oh shit. HIDE!!!
Kyle TURNS OFF THE LIGHT. As the Zombie slowly stumbles past
the window. Sam begins to back up in the darkness and trips
over something, causing a loud crash.
SAM
Owe!
KYLE
Shhh...
The zombie stops and looks through the window, and then
stumbles off into the night.
Kyle FLIPS ON THE LIGHT. Jon is standing in a corner with a
lamp shade over his head.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Good job Sam, I was just thinking
it would be better if we made a lot
of noise.
SAM
Hey screw you I tripped over
somethi...
Sam pauses as he realizes WHO he tripped over. Kyle turns
around and looks at Sam.
SAM (CONT'D)
Uuuhhh Kyle.
KYLE
oh boy.
The guys discover PERCY'S body on the ground. He appears to
be dead. In one hand is a bloody note, in the other is a
gun. Blood is splattered everywhere as it looks like he has
BLOWN HIS BRAINS out.
SAM
Who is that?
KYLE
It's Percy. What the hell
happened?
SAM
I think this is a suicide note.
Sam and Kyle investigate the body and note, while Jon
continues to walk around blindly in the background with the
lamp shade still over his head. Sam reads the note.
SAM (CONT'D)
(reading)
I refuse to become one of them. So
I'm taking my own life instead.
But before I go, I want to say
goodbye to all who...
Sam crumbles up the rest of the note.
SAM (CONT'D)
Yeah yeah yeah. Who cares.
KYLE
This is great.
SAM
Damn, I thought the guy was a tool,
but...
KYLE
No, he has a gun. I'm not sure
where he got it from, but now WE
have a gun.
SAM
Hot damn! Any bullets?
Jon continues to stumble around in the background.
KYLE
Five.
SAM
What a loser.
(mocking Percy)
"I have a gun but I'm too much of a
PUSSY to make a stand, so I kill
myself."
Kyle's phone rings.
KYLE
What the...?
SAM
Your phone is working?
KYLE
It's Taylor!
Kyle flips open his phone, but only static is heard.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Hello? Hello? Taylor?
(a beat)
FUCK!
Kyle throws his phone in anger causing it to break on the
ground.
SAM
(sarcastic)
Maybe it will work now.
KYLE
Fuck. I gotta find her.
SAM
What? Screw that bitch!
KYLE
Dude, if she's alive, we have to
save her!
SAM
We gotta save ourselves, not some
girl who screwed you over a hundred
times and possibly gave you herpes.
Kyle gives Sam a look, and then he walks outside. Sam
follows.
INT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
Chris rounds the corner with a few flashlights, and a
vibrator in his hands.
CHRIS
Hey Tom I found some flashlights...
I also found a ...
Tom is nowhere to be found.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Tom?
(a beat)
Where you at?
We then assume the POV of someone watching Chris from the
shadows.
Chris begins searching for Tom.
SUDDENLY the POV comes RUSHING out of the darkness towards
Chris. He turns and ducks just as an axe almost decapitates
him.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
HOLY CRAP!
A figure begins to SWIPE at him with the axe, trying to kill
him. The figure appears to be a young woman.
GIRL
DIE ZOMBIE !!!
CHRIS
WHOA!!! I'm not a zombie you crazy
bitch!
The girl pauses, It's KELLY, the HOT girl from the party.
KELLY
I am NOT a BITCH!
She swings AGAIN and Chris has to dodge it one more time.
CHRIS
OKAAAY SORRY! Good God, you can
stop trying to kill me now!
Tom's voice comes out of nowhere.
TOM
Kelly?
KELLY
Who are you?
TOM
The guy you were hitting on
earlier.
KELLY
Really? I must have been drunk.
TOM
No, you gave me money to go buy you
drinks...
KELLY
Oh that's right.
(a beat)
Do you have my change?
TOM
Oh... uh yeah, I think I have it
here somewhere.
Tom digs through his pockets for change. He pulls out the
receipt.
TOM (CONT'D)
You get 4.23 Back. And I only have
a five.
KELLY
Oh, I have some change.
Chris just watches in total confusion as Tom and Kelly
exchange the proper amounts of money with one another.
TOM
Ooh was that a Connecticut quarter?
KELLY
Yeah it is.
TOM
Could I have that one, here you can
have this one back.
KELLY
Oh do you collect too?
TOM
Not really, but my family is from
Connecticut so I figure...
Chris finally breaks his silence and yells.
CHRIS
HELLO!??!? YOU ALMOST KILLED ME!
KELLY
Oh, sorry.
Long awkward pause. A dark figure appears behind Chris.
KELLY (CONT'D)
OH MY GOD, SOMEONE'S BEHIND YOU!
Chris turns and punches the figure in the face. It turns out
to be Michelle, another girl from the party.
CHRIS
Oh shit! Sorry...
KELLY
Oh, it was just Michelle. My bad.
CHRIS
Michelle... I'm SO sorry.
MICHELLE
It's okay, my boyfriend hits me in
the face all the time.
Chris makes a confused face.
KELLY
So what the hell is going on?
There's like Zombies all over the
place.
(a beat)
This party sucks.
Chris looks to Tom.
TOM
Well, hang on to that axe you have
there, I have a feeling we're gonna
need it.
(a beat)
Let's go find Kyle and them.
A long pause. Tom looks to Chris.
TOM (CONT'D)
Are you holding a vibrator?
EXT. FARM - CONTINUOUS
Kyle and Sam are walking around outside.
SAM
Dude, let's go find Chris and Tom.
KYLE
In a second Sam. Last time I
talked to Taylor she was heading
this way. She might still be...
Sam notices something mixed in with the garbage. He kneels
in for a closer look. He discovers a bloody severed hand.
SAM
Oh SHIT! Kyle I found a hand!
Sam looks up but Kyle is gone.
SAM (CONT'D)
(whispering loud)
KYLE! KYLE?!
(a beat)
Where the hell are you?
Suddenly a noise is heard from the behind the small shed
across the yard. Sam is scared. He begins to slowly back up
around the corner of the Main shed.
All of a sudden, ALL OF THE LIGHTS GO OUT at the party.
There is no light other than the moon's gaze.
SAM (CONT'D)
Great.
Sam turns and RUNS INTO KELLY, SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF BOTH
OF THEM!
SAM & KELLY
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
SAM
What are you doing?
KELLY
Looking for you, I think?
SAM
Huh?
SUDDENLY Tom RUSHES in out of nowhere, scaring the three of
them.
TOM
SAM!
TOM, SAM AND KELLY ALL SCREAM.
SAM
Good god...
TOM
Oh, man, sorry... Where's Kyle?
KYLE APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE.
KYLE
GUYS!
EVERYONE SCREAMS.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Sorry about that. What happened to
the lights?
CHRIS pops in out of nowhere.
EVERYONE SCREAMS.
SAM
WHY ARE ALL THE LIGHTS OUT?!?
Suddenly, Michelle leaps out towards everyone, making a scary
monster sound.
MICHELLE
RAAAAAARRRRR!!!
EVERYONE SCREAMS.
SAM
Okay that's just wrong!
MICHELLE
Geez, you guys are really jumpy.
SAM
Who the fuck are you?
MICHELLE
I'm Michelle. I found two more
survivors.
KYLE
Where are they?
SUDDENLY TWO GUYS leap into the group...
NEW GUYS
HEY GUYS!
AGAIN... EVERYONE SCREAMS.
SAM
I hate you all.
One of the guys is wearing a Star Trek shirt.
TOM
Are you wearing a Star Trek shirt?
The new guy looks down at his shirt, wondering what the big
deal is.
KYLE
Is everyone done screaming now?
Before they know it, a ZOMBIE has mixed in with the group.
He imitates the others and SCREAMS, causing everyone to
scream and jump.
As they turn and look at the Zombie, they don't quite notice
that it IS a zombie right away. After a moment, they all do
a double take and realize a zombie has somehow mixed in
amongst them.
EVERYONE
HOLY SHIT!!!
Everyone runs away from the Zombie. He begins to chase them.
Chris notices that Kyle has a gun.
CHRIS
Dude you have a gun!
KYLE
Oh yeah.
CHRIS
SHOOT THAT FUCKER!
KYLE
I've never fired a gun before...
CHRIS
WELL NOW'S A GOOD TIME YA THINK???
TOM
Don't forget to shoot him in the...
Kyle turns and FIRES the gun at the approaching Zombie,
shooting him right in the head. The zombies brains explode
out of the back and the Zombie falls to the ground.
TOM (CONT'D)
(a beat)
... nevermind.
CHRIS
Good shot boy. You're a natural.
Kyle is a little shocked.
KYLE
I just killed a guy.
MICHELLE
It's fun isn't it...
Chris makes a confused face.
KELLY
So what the hell happened to the
lights?
TOM
I don't know. There's an old
basement somewhere... It has a main
circuit breaker connecting
everything.
CHRIS
Yeah, we need to find that
basement.
KYLE
Look!
The guys notice that a light is still on in the main shed
where the party was.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Why is that light still on?
TOM
That's on a separate circuit, but
everything else is 18th century.
IN THE BACKGROUND...Chris thinks about what Tom means by
"18th century", he eventually nods his head when he figures
it out.
SAM
(re: main shed)
Oooh, I'll take that one!
Tom begins looking around frantically.
TOM
Guys... Where's Jon?
Everyone begins looking around, but there is no sign of him.
KYLE
I don't know.
TOM
What do you mean you don't know?
KYLE
Dude I'm not his Mother... Last
time I saw him... He... We were in
the main party area.
SAM
Yeah, we also found Percy... He's
shot himself in the head.
TOM
Whoa... Really?
SAM
Yeah, it was awesome. There was
blood and guts and...
Sam sees everyone staring at him and eventually stops
talking.
CHRIS
So you guys left Jon there?
KYLE
No, we got distracted by something,
and just forgot about him.
TOM
You forgot about him?
KYLE
Dude you know what Jon's like when
he's drunk... You gotta fucking
baby-sit him all the time. He
either passes out or wanders off to
take a piss.
TOM
All the more reason to keep an eye
on him when killer zombies are
running around.
KYLE
All the more easy to forget
about...
CHRIS
What were you so distracted with in
the first place?
KYLE
Don't worry about it.
SAM
Taylor called.
CHRIS
You lost Jon over that dumb whore?
KYLE
Hey shut up man... I can't just let
her die out here.
NEW GUY
But you can let Jon die.
KYLE
Dude who the fuck are you?
TOM
Wait...wait... You're phone works?
KYLE
No, only for a second. It's broken
now.
TOM
Well, we should go look for him.
CHRIS
We should split up again.
TOM
Or come up with an even worse
cliche that will get us all killed.
KYLE
No Chris is right, we'll ...
Just as Kyle begins to finish his sentence, Tom says the
exact same thing.
TOM & KYLE
We'll cover more ground if we split
up.
TOM
Yeah yeah, that's what usually
follows the first line.
Most of the group is confused.
TOM (CONT'D)
In HORROR movies... Right before
everyone DIES!
Everyone is still confused.
TOM (CONT'D)
Nevermind, I'll go this way...
KYLE
Okay. We'll pair up into groups...
Most of us should be looking for
Jon, but we need someone to check
out the old scary basement...
To see if we can get these lights
back up.
TOM
Not it.
SAM
Whoever's pairing up, I wanna go
with TOM, because he's the Scary
movie know-it-all.
While this conversation is going on, Chris is looking along
the side of the house, and finds an old Jack-O-Lantern
Halloween basket.
CHRIS
Who cares, we've all seen a horror
movie, they're all the same thing.
Some idiot could easily run away
from the monster, but they trip and
fall. It's retarded.
Annoyed, Chris tosses the Halloween basket over his head, to
the ground. We FOCUS on the basket for a moment.
MICHELLE
I'm horny.
Chris makes a confused face.
CHRIS
And why do horror movies star
girls? No girl would survive to
the end of a REAL horror movie.
Everyone looks confused.
SAM
I still say Tom is the expert and I
go where he goes.
KYLE
Well somebody's gotta go check out
the basement.
CHRIS
I think Tom should go to into the
basement. It's his property.
KYLE
Good idea.
SAM
Tom, you're on your own buddy.
Tom hangs his head and walks off.
KYLE
Okay, I'll take this direction,
Chris... You and Michelle take over
there. Sam, you check out the Main
Shed again, that's where we last
saw him.
KELLY
What about me?
KYLE
You can come with me.
One of the new guys speaks.
NEW GUY #1
What should we do.
SAM
You guys should pray because no one
even knows your names... you're
definitely gonna die.
KYLE
Don't listen to him. You guys can
hang out here in case Jon comes
back.
SAM
What do we do if we are seen by a
zombie.
KYLE
Don't.
SAM
Don't what?
KYLE
Don't get seen by a zombie. Now
lets go.
Everyone splits up. Our view stays on the two new guys.
NEW GUY #2
Do you even know what Jon looks
like?
The other new guy shakes his head "no."
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - NIGHT
Sam enters the main shed again. He is quiet, not to attract
any attention. He notices Percy's dead body. He walks
towards the kitchen, stepping over the body. He begins to
look around.
SAM
Jon?
Sam opens a closet door. The inside of the closet is dark
and cold. A cold draft enters the room, but the closet
appears to be fine. Sam closes the door and looks to the
kitchen.
SAM (CONT'D)
Man I'm hungry.
(a beat)
Jon... If you're here... I'm gonna
make a sandwich real quick, and
then I'll finish looking for you.
Sam enters the kitchen and begins looking in the fridge for
food. He pulls out some lunch meat, some bread and some
mayonnaise. He begins fixing a giant sandwich.
From behind Sam, we notice that the closet door begins to
open slowly. A zombie emerges from the closet, moving
MINDNUMBINGLY SLOW. It begins to move towards Sam, at a rate
that would challenge a snail.
Sam turns to get a knife. He opens the drawer but can't find
one.
SAM (CONT'D)
Where are the knives?
He looks up to notice the Zombie moving towards him.
SAM (CONT'D)
AAHHH!!!
The zombie continues to slowly stumble towards him.
SAM (CONT'D)
Good God that thing is...
(a beat)
... Slow.
The zombie hits the side of a table and is slowed down even
more.
SAM (CONT'D)
I better get out of here.
He begins to leave the kitchen. His stomach growls. He
begins to entertain the idea of making a sandwich anyway. He
looks back at the abnormally slow moving monster.
SAM (CONT'D)
Eh... I got time.
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
Tom finds the basement and begins walking down the creaky old
stairs. Equipped with a flashlight, he begins searching for
the circuit breaker.
He waves his flashlight around to realize that the old
basement is filled with objects and furniture COVERED IN
WHITE SHEETS, resembling ghosts.
TOM
Can this get any scarier?
Tom's flashlight batteries die and suddenly a BRIGHT FLASH OF
LIGHTENING CRASHES in through the windows of the basement,
followed by a BOOMING THUNDER SWELL. Tom pauses.
TOM (CONT'D)
(mocking)
Let's send Tom into the basement!
A storm has come along, the rest of the night is now filled
with THUNDER and LIGHTENING.
Tom continues to walk towards the end of the basement. He
continues to pass various furniture covered in sheets.
SUDDENLY, Lightening FLASHES, and for a split second the
objects under the sheets appear to be ZOMBIES. The
lightening crashes again and the horrific image is gone as
Tom continues forward.
EXT. BARN - NIGHT
Chris and Michelle are looking for Jon. They walk into the
woods and discover a dark shed.
INT. DARK SHED - NIGHT
Chris and Michelle take out their flashlights and begin
looking around.
CHRIS
This room is dark and scary. I
don't think Jon would be in here.
MICHELLE
He could be. It's a good room for
hooking up.
CHRIS
Really...? You getting any ideas
over there.
MICHELLE
Yeah, but we don't have a strap on.
Chris stops.
CHRIS
You say some FUCKED UP shit
Michelle!
Michelle smiles at Chris. The share a brief moment. Chris
suddenly remembers something.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Wait, I found this in the barn.
Chris whips out a vibrator.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Wait... What? Why do we need a...
Michelle throws Chris up against the wall and begins making
out with him.
MICHELLE
I'm turned on by men who question
my sanity!
CHRIS
Oh boy!
(a beat)
Shouldn't we be looking for Jon.
MICHELLE
Oh, you have a tongue ring. Very
hot!
CHRIS
Did you hear that whole JON thing I
just said?
MICHELLE
FUCK JON!
CHRIS
Ooookay...
MICHELLE
Let's have sex right now!
CHRIS
Now?
MICHELLE
You said you had a crush on me...
Show me what you got.
CHRIS
LET'S DO THIS!
Chris turns off his flashlight.
INT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
Kyle and Kelly are looking for Jon with flashlights in hand.
KYLE
Jon...? You in here man?
KELLY
So, do you have a girlfriend?
KYLE
Kind of...?
KELLY
What does that mean?
KYLE
Well, my ex-girl friend, who's kind
of a whore... I still have a thing
for her.
KELLY
Who's your ex-girlfriend?
KYLE
Taylor.
KELLY
(sarcastically)
"KIND OF A WHORE???" I can't
believe you're still with her.
KYLE
Well, when it comes to her... I try
to avoid confrontations. We've
never really "had it out" with each
other... Face to face.
Kelly's flashlight causes something to glimmer in the
darkness.
KELLY
What is that?
Kelly wanders across the room to discover the lamp that TOM
found earlier. She turns it on, adding illumination to the
dark barn.
KYLE
Wow, what are the odds of that?
Kelly continues to look in the boxes.
KELLY
There's all kinds of stuff in here.
Kyle, waiting around for her, looks into a closet but nothing
is there. We CUT TO Kelly who appears to have found
something of value.
KELLY (CONT'D)
Oh... My... God... Kyle, come see
what I found.
We CUT BACK to Kyle who is standing in the same spot with the
closet door open, ONLY NOW A HORRIFIC ZOMBIE IS STANDING JUST
INSIDE THE CLOSET.
Kyle doesn't notice the zombie and closes the closet door.
He joins Kelly over by the boxes.
Kelly pulls out a SAMURAI SWORD.
KYLE
No way, a Samurai sword?
Kyle takes the sword from her. He unsheathes it from its
case and begins to fool around with it.
KELLY
You know how to use one of those
things?
KYLE
It's not a flame thrower, it's a
sword, you just swing it like so.
He swings the sword and accidently destroys the lamp, causing
their only light to go out.
KYLE (CONT'D)
My bad.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - CONTINUOUS
Sam is STILL making his sandwich. The zombie has gained
little ground on him and is still moving at a decaying rate.
On the counter, Sam has lined out pickles, tomatoes and tons
of condiments to go onto his giant sandwich. He occasionally
keeps an eye on his not-so-menacing predator.
SAM
Okay, I need chips.
Sam looks and realizes the chips are on a table, behind the
zombie. He walks over to the zombie a does a funny little
"juke" to dodge him.
He walks past him and grabs the bag of chips. He then turns
around, and starts eating them. He walks past the Zombie
again, only this time he simply nonchalantly shoves him out
of the way.
He pours the chips onto his plate. Sam then begins to speak
to the zombie.
SAM (CONT'D)
So you must be one of those old
school zombies that doesn't even
know how to run, huh?
ZOMBIE
Uuughh...
SAM
What was that?
ZOMBIE
Uuughh...
SAM
Riiighht.
Sam then turns around and sits down at the counter. He
begins to eat his meal. We cut to the zombie's feet, showing
that he is still moving towards Sam.
Just as he is getting ready to take the first long-awaited
bite into his delicious sandwich, he senses something.
He turns around to see the Zombie standing RIGHT NEXT TO
HIM!!!
SAM (CONT'D)
Oh shit.
SUDDENLY THE LIGHTS GO OUT!!!
SAM (CONT'D)
WHAT THE F...
THE ZOMBIE ATTACKS. ONLY SOUNDS OF MAULING AND SCREAMING CAN
BE HEARD. The lights then begin to flicker on and off, only
our P.O.V. is fixed on the ground, where's Sam's delicious
sandwich is covered in blood.
INT. BARN - CONTINUOUS
The lights flicker on in the barn, where Kyle and Kelly are
standing. At first they are relieved to see the lights on,
but then they realize that there are SEVERAL ZOMBIES standing
right in front of them.
Kyle wields the sword... He looks to Kelly.
KYLE
Kelly, you better stand back...
This could get messy.
SUDDENLY A ZOMBIE LUNGES TOWARDS THEM!!!
INT. DARK SHED - CONTINUOUS
Chris and Michelle are still in total darkness. Making out
sounds can be heard.
CHRIS
Oh Michelle, you are freaky.
MICHELLE
Oh Chris, I love it when you kiss
my neck.
CHRIS
I'm not kissing your neck.
THE LIGHTS COME ON.
Michelle is in her underwear and Chris has goofy boxers on.
We realize that A ZOMBIE is kissing Michelle's neck!!!
Chris jumps back. Chris points and SCREAMS like a girl.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
The Zombie begins biting Michelle on the neck. She screams
in pain. The zombie then LUNGES towards Chris who pulls out
the VIBRATOR and STABS THE ZOMBIE IN THE EYE!!!
The zombie falls to the ground with a still vibrating dildo
lodged into it's brain.
INT. BASEMENT - CONTINUOUS
Tom has just turned on the circuit breakers, causing all of
the lights to FLICKER ON.
TOM
Huh... I wonder if that helped...
Suddenly an arm softly lands on Tom's shoulder, frightening
him for a second. He then mistakes it as Mr. Arnold from
Jurassic Park.
TOM (CONT'D)
Oh Mr. Arnold, am I glad to see
you...
He turns to realize it's just a severed arm, with blood
gushing out of it.
TOM (CONT'D)
GAH!!!
From our P.O.V. we see the figures of Zombies covered in
WHITE SHEETS rising up in front of Tom.
Tom looks and realizes that he is trapped at the end of the
basement with sheet-clad zombies approaching him.
The sheets are stained in blood where the mouths of the
Zombies would be.
Tom rushes past the first set of Zombies, but is eventually
knocked down by one. He tries to crawl away, but two sheet
covered zombies grab his feet. They drag him across the
basement towards a slew of more Sheet-covered Zombies.
Tom struggles to grab onto something, but the Zombies pull
him faster and faster towards the end of the basement, where
his end awaits him.
EXT. BARN - NIGHT
Kyle and Kelly emerge from the barn. Kyle is COVERED IN
BLOOD!!! He stops for a moment to catch his breath.
KELLY
That was the coolest thing I've
ever seen.
KYLE
Yeah, well like I said, it's not a
flamethrower or anything.
Chris runs up to Kyle and Kelly.
CHRIS
Guys, guys! I just... Whoa... what
the fuck happened to you?
(referring to Kyle soaked in blood)
KYLE
(sarcastic)
Oh, you know how they're remaking
all those old Horror movies? Well
they're remaking Carrie and I was
auditioning for....
Chris looks dumbfounded.
KYLE (CONT'D)
I JUST KILLED A BUNCH OF ZOMBIES
WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE!
CHRIS
With what?
Kyle WHIPS out the sword.
KYLE
This!
Chris thinks about the lame vibrator he used to kill his
zombie.
CHRIS
Cool... I killed one too, except I
used a... machete. Yeah, I cut his
fucking head off!
KYLE
Good work buddy.
The two NEW GUYS walk up to the group of three.
NEW GUY #1
Any luck finding... EEEWWWW you're
all bloody.
KELLY
Guys come here!
The group of five discover JON surrounded by 30 Zombies in
the middle of the field by the Main Shed.
KYLE
Oh Shit it's JON!
KELLY
Is he a zombie too?
KYLE
No, of course not. He's just
really WASTED!
CHRIS
Yeah, he always gets like that.
KYLE
We gotta save him.
KELLY
Are you serious? I'm not going in
the middle of all that!
CHRIS
She's got a point Kyle, that's a
lot of zombies.
NEW GUY #1
C'mon you guys, this is your friend
you're talking about! Let's get in
there and save the day!
NEW GUY #2
Yeah baby!
The two new guys run towards the Zombies. Kyle, Chris and
Kelly look at each other, shrug their shoulders and follow
them into the pack of flesh eating monsters.
THEY FIGHT through the group of zombies! Kyle slices away
with his sword while Kelly pounds Zombies with her two-by
four. They get to the center where Jon appears WASTED. Kyle
mistakes a zombie charging towards THEM, for a zombie
charging at JON. He yells in warning...
KYLE
JON LOOK OUT!!!
At that moment, New Guy #1 dives in front of the Zombie,
thinking he is saving Jon from being attacked.
NEW GUY #1
GO... SAVE JON... SAVE
YOURSELVES!!!
The new guy is then forced to the ground by the opposing
Zombie. More Zombies pile on, killing him.
KYLE
You heard... What's his name...
Let's go!
The rest of them make a run for it, narrowly escaping the
group of Zombies.
Once they break free, the look back, and the Zombies don't
even notice where they are. They run around the shed and
have a talk.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Jon, you okay man?
JON
Uuuughhhh...
KYLE
He's fine.
CHRIS
Whoa, I can't believe that guy gave
his life for us.
Kelly turns to New Guy #2.
KELLY
Wow, that was really brave of your
friend, what was his name?
NEW GUY #2
I dunno?
The group looks confused.
KYLE
Dude, that was kind of fun.
CHRIS
What?
KYLE
Killing all of those zombies, it's
like gruesome therapy. Don't you
think?
KELLY
Well, it was a rush...
KYLE
That's what we have to do.
(a beat)
We have to kill all of the zombies
so they don't get out into the rest
of the world.
The group looks nervous.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Think about it, we're the last line
of defense against these things
killing every man, woman and child
on Earth.
KELLY
And puppies?
KYLE
And puppies.
(a beat)
We have to stop them... NO MATTER
THE COST.
CHRIS
Now way, we should get the fuck out
of here, save ourselves. Think
about it... That one guy sacrificed
his life so we could get JON. We
got him, let's go! Sticking around
here is a death wish!
IN THE BACKGROUND Jon ATTACKS New Guy #2, biting his neck,
forcing him to the ground and killing him.
Kelly pulls the gun out of Kyle's pants and hands it to
Chris.
KELLY
Quit being a pussy and kill some
fucking zombies.
KYLE
Jon, stay here, out of sight.
(a beat)
Let's do this.
Kyle, Kelly and Chris round the corner with their weapons in
hand. A random zombie sees this and charges towards them.
Kelly SWINGS HER AXE and cuts the zombies head off.
Another Zombie lunges from behind. Kyle turns and slices its
arm off! He then stabs him in the head, killing it.
Kyle looks out towards the dirt road.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Chris, Those ones are heading for
the road, take 'em out!
Chris AIMS THE GUN and fires... but hits nothing. Kyle and
Kelly continue to fight off Zombies in the background.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Chris, get closer. We only have 4
bullets left!
Chris moves in closer and takes aim. He fires again, but
misses.
CHRIS
Crap.
He looks at the gun as if something is wrong with it, not
him. He moves closer and fires another shot.
We hear a cat screech!
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Oops.
KELLY
Stop fucking around dude!
Only one shot left, Chris walks closer to the zombie and
prepares to fire. SUDDENLY 2 ZOMBIES grabs him and throw him
to the ground, causing him to fire and miss. He looks up at
his attackers. IT'S MATT AND BUBBA, THEY ARE NOW ZOMBIES!
CHRIS
Aaaahh!
(a beat)
Matt? Bubba?
Bubba tries to bite Chris repeatedly while Matt stands over
them. Chris sticks the gun in his mouth and BLOWS HIS BRAINS
OUT!!! The bullet goes THROUGH Bubba's head and kills Matt as
well.
Blood splatters onto Chris's face. He takes his shirt and
wipes it off quickly.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Whoa.
SUDDENLY 3 more Zombies lunge at Chris. Despite being out of
bullets, he covers his eyes and fires the gun anyway.
To his surprise, the 3 zombies are dead. He hit each one in
the head with a bullet.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
What the fuck?
Another Zombie approaches. He turns and shoots him as well.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
This is hot!
He returns to the battle, shooting more zombies.
EXT. MAIN PARTY SHED - CONTINUOUS
KYLE AND KELLY continue to butcher zombies.
KELLY
Where are the rest of your friends?
KYLE
I don't know. They should have met
us back here by now.
Suddenly, he sees SAM, slowly stumble out of the main shed.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Sam!
Kyle rushes over to his friend. We cannot see Sam's face
yet, as he limps out into the yard. His clothes have blood
all over them. He appears to be carrying a DOUGH ROLLER.
Kyle's pace lessens, as he becomes concerned. He slowly puts
his hand on Sam's shoulder.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Sam...?
SUDDENLY Sam turns around with a angered bloody face! He
wields the ROLLER like a weapon.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Oh shit!
Sam lunges towards KYLE's head, but JUST misses him! Instead
he hits an ATTACKING FEMALE ZOMBIE, who was sneaking up from
behind!
SAM
DIE YOU DECAYING SEMEN SWALLOWING
DEMON-FACED DIKE!!! DIIIIEEE!!!!
SAM is still Sam, only he's really fucking ticked off!
He bashes the zombies head to pieces as blood splashes
everywhere. Kyle has to grab Sam and calm him down.
KYLE
Sam, SAM! Calm down buddy. You
killed it.
SAM
I did?
KYLE
...At least 3 times.
Sam returns to his feet. He is bleeding from the neck and
arm, badly injured.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Man, what happened?
SAM
I'm alright...
(a beat)
Can I kill some zombies. I just
wanna kill some zombies. Can I...?
Kyle looks at his injured friend.
KYLE
Sure buddy. You can kill some
zombies, but use the bow and arrow
instead. That dough roller is
kinda.....gay.
Sam throws his dough roller onto the ground and readies the
bow. He reaches into the quiver and begins to line up the
arrow. Sam is having A LOT of trouble getting the arrow ready
to fire. He pulls back on the bow and successfully launches
the arrow three feet. It sticks in the ground causing
absolutely no harm to anything. He pulls out another arrow
and launches it much farther, but no where near any of the
zombies in the distance. Sam stands there for a moment
considering what his next move should be. He throws down the
bow and arrow, picks the dough roller back up and begins
slaughtering zombies with an overly-content look on his face.
Meanwhile, CHRIS is firing away at more zombies with his
never-ending supply of bullets. The zombies constantly moan
at him. With every pull of the trigger, he yells...
CHRIS
SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!
More and more zombies fall at his will.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Man, I will never make fun of a
movie where the gun doesn't run out
of bullets ever again!
He turns and sees a dark haired girl in the distance.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
What the f...
She see Chris and begins walking towards him. Her hair is
covering her face.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Michelle?
(a beat)
I thought you were...
She reveals her horrific face.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
I thought you were Hot. Damn I
must have been drunk.
She rushes at him. With a smirk on his face, he aims his gun
and fires. Michelle stops, awaiting a shot to blow her away,
but it never comes. The gun is finally out of bullets.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Heh,
(awkward silence)
You know, I ate some asparagus
earlier, so I probably won't taste
too good.
She races towards him, he screams, and she chases him around
the field. Eventually Chris TRIPS AND FALLS to the ground.
He looks to see what he tripped over. His foot is caught in
the Halloween basket that he threw earlier.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Oh if this bitch doesn't kill me
the Irony will.
Having said that, he looks up to Michelle who is about to
stab Chris with the Vibrator.
All of a sudden, SAM comes out of nowhere and WHACKS Michelle
with his roller.
SAM
DIE YOU CRAZY BITCH!!! GAAAHH!!
Sam bashes Michelle to death.
CHRIS
Sam, you're a life saver!
Sam looks even more fatigued than before.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
You alright buddy?
SAM
(out of breath)
...Me? ...Fine ...You?
CHRIS
Good. Oh I killed Matt and Bubba,
so I guess we need to start a new
band.
SAM
(still panting)
...Okay.
Kyle shouts from afar.
KYLE
Chris, get over here!
Chris runs over to where Kyle is.
CHRIS
Sup nugget?
KYLE
I don't see Tom anywhere. Have you
seen him?
CHRIS
No. Not since he went into the ...
Scary basement.
KYLE
Oh man, I hope he's alright.
CHRIS
Well. I'm sure he'll turn up
sooner or later.
KYLE
Yeah.
The guys turn around to discover...
Nothing.
They were hoping Tom would be there, but he isn't. They then
proceed to stand there for about 10-15 seconds waiting for
him.
After 10-15 seconds...
KYLE (CONT'D)
Fuck, we don't have time for this,
lets get back to...
They turn around and standing right in front of them is a
figure with a WHITE SHEET draped over him.
CHRIS
Oh shit!
The figure is slouched over in a strange position.
Chris picks up the sheet and looks under it, but whatever it
is SNAPS at him, like an animal. He drops the sheet and
jumps back. The sheet the begins to fall back off of the
figure.
KYLE
What is it?
CHRIS
Oh boy... It's Tom.
The sheet reveals Tom's face, he is a ZOMBIE!
CHRIS (CONT'D)
He's a zombie now.
SUDDENLY TOM LEAPS out of the sheet and begins chasing Kyle
and Chris. He moves like a RAPTOR from Jurassic Park!!!
KYLE
What the fuck kind of Zombie is he?
CHRIS
Yeah, he's a.... he's a raptor
zombie. It's his favorite animal.
Chris and Kyle run behind a shed, Tom slips on some poured
out ice from a cooler and slides into the shed. Kyle closes
the door on him.
KYLE
What do we do? I don't want to
kill Tom!
CHRIS
Kyle, he's not our friend
anymore... He's some soulless
creature now. They're all like
that, look around you. It's some
vile, disgusting, cheap "Shaun of
the Dead" rip off.
The guys both turn and look to the camera, breaking the 4th
wall. They smile, trying to hide their discontent for the
plot.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Besides, we don't have to kill him.
He's contained. Unless they figure
out how to open doors.
Tom begins to open the door to the shed. Chris and Kyle take
cover and hide. Tom opens the shed and begins searching for
them.
Tom, now as raptor-zombie, cannot seem to find his former
allies. He does a strange Zombie call and summons another
Zombie to help.
Chris and Kyle cover their ears, and notice that there are
now 2 zombies.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
There's 2 of them!
They crawl away and round the corner to find Sam with his
back turned.
KYLE
Sam, we gotta move, Tom's a ...
Sam turns around, now in full ZOMBIE form.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Zombie! OH FUCK!
They run backwards but they quickly discover Tom and the
other Zombie are ready for them!
Kyle readies his sword for action. Chris readies his... Oh
wait, he no longer has a weapon.
CHRIS
Shit. We're screwed.
The 3 zombies close in on them. Kyle and Chris stand with
their back to each other.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
What do we do?
KYLE
Well, we can run like cowards, or
we can stand and fight!
Chris runs without telling Kyle.
KYLE (CONT'D)
(a beat)
Which ones it gonna be...
He realizes Chris is running away.
KYLE (CONT'D)
You fucker.
Kyle runs away as well.
ZOMBIE-SAM chases Chris while RAPTOR-ZOMBIE-TOM chases Kyle.
The other Zombie is really stupid and attacks the area where
they WERE standing.
Chris runs inside the main party shed. He closes the door
behind him. Kyle doesn't see this and continues running.
RAPTOR Zombie turns the corner and chases Kyle. Zombie-Sam
then comes around the corner and sees Chris peaking out of
the window. Sam KNOCKS down the door and pursues Chris
inside.
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - CONTINUOUS
CHRIS
Whoa shit! Easy there buddy.
Zombie Sam gets closer.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
We're buddies here. Band-mates.
You can be lead singer! Huh?
How's that sound?
Zombie-Sam stops and thinks about it, but shakes it off and
continues after Chris. Chris reaches for a possible weapon.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Don't make me ...
He grabs a blender.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
... Blend you...?
Sam attacks, but Chris SHOVES the blender over Sam's hand and
turns it on. It CHOPS Zombie-Sam's hand into MUSH, but he
keeps advancing. Chris then throws a nearby LADLE at Sam. It
has no effect. Chris grabs a FISHING ROD, but it breaks over
Zombie-Sam's body and he continues to advance. Finally, Chris
grabs an UMBRELLA that is propped in the corner. He stabs
into Sam's face and PRESSES THE TRIGGER. The umbrella
expands, killing Zombie-Sam
CHRIS (CONT'D)
I knew one of those worked on
zombies.
(a beat)
I'm sorry Sam. But at least you
went out in a kitchen.
An awkward silence.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Cause you like food...
(a beat)
And you're always... in the...
NEVERMIND.
Chris walks off.
EXT. FARM - CONTINUOUS
Kyle is being chased by Tom. He gets about 20 feet ahead of
him and stops. He turns to see Tom stop as well. They stare
at each other. Kyle grasps his samurai sword. He then puts
on his Morpheus sunglasses.
RAPTOR-ZOMBIE-TOM charges at Kyle with the speed of a...
...Raptor.
Kyle, does the MORPHEUS move from MATRIX RELOADED and slices
Tom right across the stomach. He then REVEALS A MACHINE GUN
from his side and begins firing it at Tom until he's out of
bullets.
Tom falls to the ground and EXPLODES in a FIERY INFERNO!
Kyle looks at the remains of his fallen friend. He searches
for the right words to say. After a moment of ALMOST saying
something he just walks off.
Chris and Kelly run up to him. Jon slowly follows.
KELLY
What's going on? Where did you get
a machine gun?
KYLE
I don't know, everything is just
totally random now.
He tosses it to the ground.
SUDDENLY, a white trash-looking boy with a MULLET, comes
running out of the woods. He stops and looks at the small
group of survivors.
YOUNG KID
Waffles?
(a beat)
WAFFLES!!! WAFFLES!!!
The young kid begins to perform karate moves in slow-motion
as he approaches the group. He then attempts to bite the
hand of Kyle, but Kyle quickly SLAPS the SHIT out of him,
knocking him to the ground!
KYLE
What the FUCK is wrong with you?
Chris then kicks the kid while he's down. They walk off.
KELLY
So what exactly is going on?
KYLE
Tom is dead.
CHRIS
So is Sam.
KELLY
You guys, I'm sorry. It takes a
lot to realize that your friends
have become Zombies.
JON
Uuuughhhh...
KELLY
And it takes even more to realize
that you can't keep them around
just because they were your
friends. You did the right thing.
JON
Uuuuugghhhh...
KELLY
Shut up Jon!
All of the "unaccounted-for" zombies begin to slowly emerge
from around the corners of different sheds. Chris picks up a
shovel. Kelly still has her axe and Kyle has his sword.
KYLE
Well, first we have to kill the
rest of these Zombies.
(a beat)
Let's finish this.
They return to the battle and begin killing the remaining
Zombies. During the battle, Kyle stops and notices a
familiar looking girl walk around the corner of the Barn.
KYLE (CONT'D)
Taylor?
Kyle leaves the fight and rushes after the girl. He rounds
the corner to see the back of Taylor, underneath a light at
the other end of the barn.
EXT. SIDE OF BARN - CONTINUOUS
Kyle hesitantly approaches her.
KYLE
Taylor? Is that you babe?
Taylor appears to be crying.
KYLE (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
TAYLOR
You hate me.
KYLE
I don't hate you.
TAYLOR
Yes you do. I was a bad
girlfriend.
KYLE
No you weerrrnn... Well, yeah. You
were a really bad girlfriend, but
baby we gotta get out of here.
It's not safe.
TAYLOR
No. I deserve to stay here... To
die.
KYLE
Don't say that.
TAYLOR
I deserve to stay here... And
ROT...
KYLE
What?
TAYLOR
Will you stay with me?
She turns around, revealing that she is a ZOMBIE!
TAYLOR (CONT'D)
We can ROT together!
KYLE
Oh no.
She begins slowly moving towards him, as he slowly backs up.
TAYLOR
What's wrong baby? Don't you still
love me?
KYLE
Can Zombies talk?
TAYLOR
Aren't I still pretty to you?
Bubba thought so...
KYLE
You had sex with Bubba?
TAYLOR
Mike thought so too.
KYLE
What?
TAYLOR
So did David and Andy....at the
same time.
KYLE
Same time?
TAYLOR
Even Chip thought so...
KYLE
Chip? Mrs. Anderson's German
Shepard, Chip?
TAYLOR
You were the only one I loved
though... I still love you...
(a beat)
I'll always love you.
KYLE
Why are you telling me all this?
TAYLOR
It's better here, with us. It's
all so much simpler.
Kyle doesn't know what to say.
TAYLOR (CONT'D)
Join us Kyle. Become one of us!
Kyle thinks of it for a moment. He then looks down to his
sword. We PAN UP to BAD ASS Kyle who utters his timely one
liner.
KYLE
(a beat)
... NO.
Kyle swings at Taylor with his sword but she BACK FLIPS out
of the way, landing in a crouching position. She LEAPS up
towards Kyle, knocking him down causing him to drop his
weapon. The sword sticks into the ground. She straddles
Kyle in a sexual way.
TAYLOR
Did you miss this?
We quickly CUT AWAY to 3 Zombies who raise their hands.
ZOMBIE 1
I do.
ZOMBIE 2
Yeah me too.
Kyle sees this and gets angry. Kyle flips her over and is
now on top.
KYLE
No, but I miss this.
Kyle punches her in the face! Taylor retaliates by sinking
her nails into Kyle's chest, causing him to bleed.
KYLE (CONT'D)
AHH YOU BITCH!
He punches her again.
TAYLOR
Sorry baby, I thought you liked it
rough... Or was that Jack?
KYLE
Damn Bitch, how many people did you
Fuck?
Kyle turns his head as we CUT AWAY once again to the battle
that rages on between Chris, Kelly and the Zombies. They all
pause and raise their hands.
Kyle rolls his eyes and turns back to Taylor, but he is
quickly met by a round-house kick to the face!
He steps back, Taylor continues to pummel him with her female
fists of fury, ending with a ferocious crane kick sending him
CRASHING into some old boxes.
Kyle looks defeated. He continues to bleed.
EXT. BATTLE - NIGHT
Chris and Kelly continue to battle on, but it doesn't look
good. Chris is killing zombies with a shovel. The shovel
BREAKS over a Zombies back, leaving just the sharp piece of
wood in his grasp. He proceeds to STAB a Zombie with the
handle, losing it in the process. Contaminated blood
splatters all over Chris's shirt.
KELLY
Be careful, don't let any of their
bodily fluids get inside you!
CHRIS
That's funny coming from you.
Kelly gives him a stare.
Chris turns around just as a Zombie attempts to THROW UP on
him. He jumps out of the way.
CHRIS (CONT'D)
Eww, what the fuck man!
Chris now stands weaponless. The Zombie continues to project
it's vomit onto Chris, attempting to contaminate him with the
virus. He manages to dodge it until more zombies get the
idea and all start to puke on him. He falls to the ground as
the all jump on top of him, devouring him.
Kelly, meanwhile is overpowered by her attackers as well.
She falls to the ground and appears to be done for.
Meanwhile, despite being a Zombie... Jon eyes Kelly and
automatically falls in love with her. He then notices the
other Zombies about to kill her...
EXT. FARM - DAWN
We RETURN to Kyle as he comes to. His eyes open to see the
sun beginning to rise on this horrid night.
KYLE
...Comes the dawn...
TAYLOR
And with it, your DOOM!
Taylor lunges at Kyle but he quickly adjust and FLIPS HER
OVER causing her to tumble to the ground. Kyle then ROLLS
towards his sword, pulls it out of the ground and leaps up to
strike her down. Taylor reacts by grabbing a metal rod and
defending herself, but she is no match for PISSED OFF SAMURAI
KYLE!
EXT. BATTLE - DAWN
Kelly is about to be killed by the Zombies when JON leaps out
of nowhere and fends off the other zombies.
JON
NO! MINE! MIIINNNEE!!!
The other Zombies recognize that he is the silver-back of the
group and quickly back down from their creator.
Kelly is amazed by his ability to take control, and she
quickly falls for him as well.
EXT. FARM - CONTINUOUS
Kyle continues to overpower Taylor. He knocks her to the
ground. Taylor looks up at Kyle.
TAYLOR
FINE KYLE! KILL ME! WHY DON'T YOU
SAY SOME LAME CATCHPHRASE WHILE
you're AT IT!
Kyle raises his sword.
KYLE
FUCK CATCHPHRASES!
He then STABS Taylor right through the mouth!
EXT. BATTLE - DAWN
Kyle reunites with Kelly and Jon.
KYLE
Chris?
Kelly disappointingly shakes her head no.
KELLY
Jon saved my life. I think he's
sobering up a little bit.
Jon throws up.
KELLY (CONT'D)
Eww.
(a beat)
Wait, what's that?
Kelly reaches down into Jon's vomit, and picks up a set of
car keys.
KYLE
Oh my god those are Bubba's car
keys.
KELLY
Really? No way...
(a beat)
How random is that?
Kyle looks to Bubba's car, still in good shape at the edge of
the farm.
KYLE
Bubba's car... Let's go.
KELLY
What about the rest of them?
We CUT OVER to a few remaining Zombies.
KYLE
Don't worry about it. C'mon.
EXT. BUBBA'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
The 3 of them rush over to Bubba's car. Kyle helps Jon into
the passenger seat and then accompanies Kelly to the other
side. Kelly reaches for the door to the back seat, but Kyle
stops her. She looks to him confused.
KYLE
No. You go, take Jon... Get out of
here.
KELLY
What? What about you?
KYLE
It's too late for me.
Kyle looks to his chest, where Taylor clawed him... The
infection appears to have begun. Kelly softly reaches for
Kyle's chest, but Kyle grabs her hand, stopping her.
From inside the car we hear Jon below.
JON
MINE!
They pay no attention to his jealousy.
KYLE
Don't. You guys still have a
chance.
KELLY
What are you gonna do?
KYLE
I don't know. Maybe I'll just
watch the sunrise.
Kyle sees a ROAD SAFETY KIT in the back of Bubba's car. He
reaches down to it and pulls out a road-side FLARE.
KYLE (CONT'D)
After I kill the rest of these
fuckers!
She gets into the front seat and rolls down the window.
KELLY
Thanks... For everything.
She leans in and gives Kyle a gentle kiss on the cheek. The
car begins to shake as we hear Jon moan in the background.
JON
NO. MINE.
KYLE
Go.
Kyle rushes off as Kelly drives Jon out of the woods towards
safety.
EXT. BATTLE - DAWN
Kyle returns to the large group of remaining Zombies. He
slices his way through a couple of them but quickly begins to
feel the ILL affects of the disease taking over his body.
He walks over to a PROPANE TANK sitting on the side of the
Barn. He slices off the nozzle of the tank, omitting the gas
into the air.
The group of last remaining zombies, including Chris, begin
to crowd around him going in for the kill. He then LIGHTS
THE FLARE.
INT. BUBBA'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
Kelly and Jon are driving towards the road. Kelly looks into
the rearview mirror as a massive explosion detonates back
where the farm used to be. The moment is somber as the two
of them drive off down the road.
EXT. BUBBA'S CAR - CONTINUOUS
The car drives off down the windy road.
JON (V.O.)
Can we stop at White Castle?
FADE OUT:
FADE IN:
INT. JON'S BEDROOM - MORNING
Jon lies unconscious on the ground. He has fainted from the
flash of last nights memories. He BOLTS UP, awake and afraid
about what has seen. His head PULSATES with pain.
He rises to his feet and covers the severed head of KELLY
with the bed sheets. He runs into the bathroom where he
VOMITS into the toilet!
He returns to his room but the severed head is GONE!
He begins looking around his room. Jon thinks he hears
something in the closet. He slowly walks over to
investigate. He cautiously opens the door, afraid of what he
may find.
He reaches to turn on the light, but it doesn't work. He is
about to close the door when...
SUDDENLY OUR POINT OF VIEW LUNGES AT JON FROM WITHIN THE
CLOSET AS JON LOOKS ON IN FEAR!
EXT. JON'S HOUSE - MORNING
We CRANE OUT from Jon's house ultimately revealing CLAYTON'S
CAR parked sideways across his lawn. Jon screams as we...
FADE TO BLACK.
ENDING CREDITS.
CUT TO:
INT. MAIN PARTY SHED - MORNING
We RETURN to the main shed of the farm where our POV is fixed
on PERCY'S body. At first all is quiet, then...
Percy's body suddenly begins to move. He rises up to his
knees and begins breathing in the fresh air of the morning.
He slowly PEELS OFF a the prosthetic blood and guts makeup
that covered the back of his head.
He slowly gains his composure and rises to his feet. He
looks around and begins to speak...
PERCY
I did it, I fooled them all...
(THEN SHOUTING)
I OUTLASTED YOU ALL!!! I'M
ALIVE... I'M ALIVE!!!!
CUT TO BLACK.
FADE TO:
ON SCREEN TEXT: Percy died of cancer the next day.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END.
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